WWJD: Gossip Grrrl?

Hey everyone, Jem here! Welcome back to What Would Jem Do?! It's good to be back and giving much needed advice to the public again. Unfortunately, last time I was on here my time was short and Starlight House burned down AGAIN. That makes it... 4 times now? Fortunately, none of the girl orphans I help were injured but I'm so close to banning curling irons and flat irons, its not even funny. Pink fluffy hair be damned, my dad only left me so much money and the Holograms are between contracts now. We're working on some songs though and we'll be back in the studio in no time. I think the world is ready again for some uplifting music! So, let's get to the letters, shall we?

Dear Jem

Okay I have a problem that I hate to admit. I have been reading Perez Hilton's blog for like several years. I'm talking since before he sold out... before he even met Paris Hilton... when his little vulgar scribbles were new and still funny. This was like when he was begging fans to send in their celeb pics cuz he didn't have enough content of his own. :} My fingers just automatically go to his website, and I hate myself for continuing to read his gossip. I just luv reading celeb gossip! What are better and more respectable celeb gossip site alternatives? I have avoided his site for about 2 weeks so I feel like I'm doing really well and on the road to recovery. Although I did tell my friend who still reads his site to text me if she reads anything major that I need to know. :} Is that considered cheating?

Gossip grrrl - I'm going to assume you stopped reading Perez Hilton because of his recent strings of scandals, most notably his altercation with Will.i.am? I'm not going to mince any words for this one as I'm a girl without a hair dryer at the moment and in NO MOOD. Perez is OVER. He's a blight to both the blogopshere and the gay movement. What is most painful is that I remember when his site was called PageSixSixSix (so cute) and he had so much potential. Unfortunately, Perez's massive head got even bigger and could no longer be supported by his frame and he started catering to the lowest common denominator. No amount of vulgar doodling can compare to a clever turn of a phrase. So Perez is dead to me and I will no longer provide him with cash flow generated by my online traffic. But I digress... you want a new site to get your celebrity gossip fix. Well, there's always TMZ but, quite frankly, it has no real style. If you're looking for cute and biting commentary along with your gossip then look no further than D-Listed. Its cute, clever, and funny. You can also read OMGblog and WorldofWonder which throw in some celebrity gossip along with other cute articles. Not to mention, WorldofWonder has my very dear friend, James St James. In short, you have lots of alternatives to choose from for celebrity gossip so why choose tired old Perez?

We have time for one more quick question for this week...

Dear Jem, I'm always leaving my comments in the wrong post. Am I really that stupid? How can I be more smarter??Love, MM.(the M. stand for Moron)

Dearest MM - You are not a moron, you just need to better organize your life. I suggest purchasing a blackberry to put in all your contacts and schedules in so you can let your brain focus on what's really important... the world of blogs. Also, if you get a blackberry, you can say you're BBMing and not texting. It just sounds more important! Of course, I don't need any of these things because I have Synergy. Not only does she provide me with an updated wardrobe and alter ego, she also organizes my day and comes with a 50 megapixel camera.

Glitter, fashion and fame!

Cover This

So, inspired by a post over at the cute HotelTuesday, I've decided to list 5 song covers that I feel rival, if not surpass, the original song. So many bands cover songs but for a cover to be truly GREAT, they either need to twist the song into their own style or they need to redo it in the original style flawlessly. Here are some of the contenders in my book. What are yours?

Dangerous Type - cover by Letters to Cleo, original by The Cars
I must admit that I heard the cover before the original so thats probably why I'm biased. I do love The Cars and the fact that Rick landed Paulina still amazes me but I'm going to give this one to LTC.



I Know Its Going To Happen Someday - cover by David Bowie, original by Morrissey
How often does a music legend cover another, slightly less known, music legend? Almost NEVER. As much as it pains me to say this since I'm such a Moz/Smiths fan but I like Bowie's version better.



She's Lost Control - cover by Girls Against Boys, original by Joy Division
I don't know how to compare these two because their versions are different but still similar. Joy Division has such a great minimal sound and they have, let's face it, Ian Curtis with all his mythology behind him and his music. GvsB does not have a minimal sound but its a near perfect rendition of the original. I'm going to say they are about equal to me. I'm sorry Ian! Please do yourself a favor and checkout any books/movies/docs about Ian Curtis and Joy Division.



White Lines - cover by Duran Duran, original by Grandmaster Flash
I just love Duran Duran and Simon's voice. I still want to be Nick Rhodes and play that electrical stick he puts on top of his keyboards.

Landslide - cover by Smashing Pumpkins, original by Fleetwood Mac

I know lots of people will hate me for this but I actually like the SP version better. Stevie Nicks has a phenomenal voice but I can't say that I'm a big fan of Fleetwood Mac. The Smashing Pumpkins, however, I am a fan of of although I did stop buying them after Pisces Iscariot. Billy Corgan stayed faithful to the song for his version and belted hoarsely whispered his way through it.

anti: William Shatner covers

Wild Thing

Not since Anne Murray has any thing so great come out of Canada. Peaches is CRAZY and RAUNCHY but I love her for it. She is one of the few artists who can do nasty and raunchy and not make me think its in poor taste. Mind you, I would not listen to her with my little cousins but I wouldn't care if my mom was in the car while I had her on. My mom is just glad I'm over punk although I'm only truly over looking punk. Anyhoo, Peaches combines my love of masculine women and electroglam.

In the first video, Boys Wanna Be Her, you can see JD Sampson, of Le Tigre, playing keytar.


Okay, I'm pretty sure this is not an "official" Peaches video but the Fuck The Pain Away video is not bad and its a song you just have appreciate. No, that is not Peaches. Peaches is much zexier.



Last, is a short clip of Peaches on the L Word singing I U She. I love this because its a great song but also because it makes me laugh because I have never ever seen lesbians dance at a lesbian bar. Only on Showtime, I guess!




anti: Bare Naked Ladies

Glitter, Fashion, and Fanmail

What a lucky treat for all us! Jem is taking a break from her busy life of running the Starlight House, her ophanage for cute teen girl runaways, since no one is buying domestic orphans nowadays. Their loss is our gain! Jem wants to revive her old advice column, WWJD: What Would Jem Do? but she needs your mails and problems. No problem too small or too great. Just email her, care of me, at velocityboy14@gmail.com

anti: dear abby

Destroy Everything You Touch

I've listened to Ladytron forever... when their sound was minimal and a bunch of *beeps* and *boops*. Oh how you've grown, Ladytron. I would describe them as synth/electro pop with just a hint of electroclash. I mean, they have an asian! What self-respecting electro band doesn't have an asian in the mix. They're also fronted by two women. How subversive!

Listen to "Runaway" off Velocifero



and some classic Ladytron, "Seventeen"



anti: horizonal stripes

I'm on a roll... sorta

Only two days apart in postings... I feel like Ariana Huffington!

So I watched The Great American Road Trip last night and I can't say that its very good. They choose 6 or 7 families and have them travel across American by RV and hilarity should ensue. Well they're obviously trying to be PC and having a different ethnic/race family for each RV. You have the black family, the hispanic family, the southern family, the jewish family, the loud italian family, etc. There was one family which I'm not even sure what they were but I'll just call them the poor family. So they keep emphasizing its not a race, which would actually make it exciting, but they do have competitions where they eliminate families. I mean, its not great, but I'll probably keep watching just to see the italian family eliminated. That dad is so annoying with his dry damaged hair!

NYC Prep - As much as I love this show, I can definately see why people hate it. The kids are spoiled and privileged and, as an only child, I've never had a problem with that. But some of the things they say are just ignorant and mean. I love PC (Peter Carrey) but he did annoy me last night. I'm all for money and self-entitlement but I can't stand when someone takes themselves to seriously like PC did in Mexico. I think he insulted mexicans, texans, and new jersians all in one night. Of course I'm going to keep watching because I think its funny to see the girls with their lazy eyes and weird hair.


anti: jaeger bombs

3 months later...

Back to blogging with an emphasis on music and videos.

I've been obsessing over Hunx and his Punx for awhile now. Hunx is just so cute and what boy can resist a fur fez and a batwing hoodie? I'm not certain if any other bands have explored the miniscule genre of queercore shangri-la/ronnettes girl (but not) groups but I'm going to go out on a limb and say Hunx and his Punx do it best.




anti: pop divas